Who reads the book of Numbers anyway? Lists of names… information about sacrifices and people constantly making foolish decisions and the discipline that comes with those choices. Who spends several months swimming through a book like this? I didn’t intend to. But I’m raising my hand on this side of the screen.I planned to spend this year focusing on the New Testament. I wanted to understand more of the depths of my savior. So, how I ended up in Numbers was quite unplanned by yours truly. But, now I must say– this book has rocked my perspective so much. What happened then in history was pointing to my sweet Savior. This book pointed me to finding my everything in Him. In Jesus.
I had a commentary on my Kindle for this book, I suppose that’s why I dove into the book in the first place. But as dry as Numbers seemed at times, the way the author connected the events with the coming Messiah– was like a child discovering that the dying iPod only needed to be connected to electricity for it to be revived. Don’t ask me where that analogy came from. However, the point of this isn’t to give a book review– it’s to talk about the end of the matter.
Life is meeting.
Life is meeting new circumstances, many of which we don’t expect and can’t control. Life is meeting new people and developing new relationships; it’s meeting new ideas, some of which may upset us. As much as we try to avoid it, life is meeting ourselves and not always liking what we see. But most of all, life is meeting God, for He’s always there, protecting us, wanting to teach, and always seeking to mature us.” Warren Wiersby
My heart was gripped by this. I can’t explain why I was so moved by this — but I was. Maybe, it’s because this is so much of what I’ve been learning lately. My circumstances are constantly changing in this land over here and I can’t.. CAN’T control things here. I want to, I try, I think I have— but reality hits and at the end of the day I have no control.
People… oh how I could spend days talking about the hundreds of people I am connected with over here. Relationships are part of my purpose in this life. Building them, deepening them, nurturing them– yes as messy as relationships get, I want to continue diving into them.
But then comes that word: me. Meeting myself and discovering who I am is a huge part of this journey. I think I know myself, but I have no idea about the depths of my depravity. I also fail to grasp the boundless oceans of mercy that have been gifted to me. I think I know I can keep my life under control, then some situation happens where I am confronted with my fears and my failure to trust God. Learning who I am and who Jesus is is a life-long process. Throughout all of this meeting I want to be awake to what God is trying to teach me. I don’t want to be like the Israelites who feared the unknown and disobeyed because they focused on their weakness and insignificance. Life needs to be lived by faith. It’s easy to say that– but it’s when the refining tests and trials come that show if I’m living by faith.
As I walked down the sidewalk this afternoon I realized just how much of life is meeting. I ran into a lady who worked in my apartment building since I moved in, several years back. This week she suddenly disappeared. My heart ached when I learned that she was relocated to a different part of campus. We hugged each other as tears welled up in our eyes. I have no idea why she has been in my life for these years. We couldn’t even communicate for most of my time here. But this I know. It wasn’t by accident that I saw her today, and it wasn’t by accident that she’s been watching me live my life for the past few years here. If God is the one going before me, He’s the one placing people in my life. After saying goodbye, I continued walking down the sidewalk only to be greeted by two of my former students. They yelled my name and were just so full of joy. We spoke and caught up a bit. Father knew I needed that burst of joy after the prior meeting.
All I can say is… Life is meeting, and I want to keep meeting.